Pandora's box

That's it. I'm all packed and ready to go. Scared to death...dont know why though. Maybe it's just the horror stories i've heard. The standard response i seem to evoke everytime I say that I'll be moving to the capital - "Shit, please be very careful! Do not travel by autos alone...get home by 8 in the evening...carry pepper spray!"

Like anxiety laced with apprehension wasn't enough to put in my lil bag of emotions. Ofcourse somewhere tangled in the mess you will find some excitement...no, actually a lot of excitement, but it's just a little hazy at the moment.

And then there's panic...just about teetering on the edge of chaos. Will i fit in? Will i find a nice place to call home? Will i manage on the pittance i'll be making? Will i be safe? I'm so gonna miss home!!! At times its enough to make me want to nip downstairs n drown myself in nightcap after nightcap.

But tomorrow is when I lug my little mixed bag onto the flight that'll take me to my destination. And once i land...the cat will get out...and probably take my tongue with it...literally. (Forgive me lord for i have sinned against my readers, if any.) Even writing isn't acting like the sedative it usually is.

Think I'll stop...Ugh! I can't wait to get this bit over with...just need to stop getting all cross-eyed with worry. I don't know how to end this one...so I won't bother. The End.

Do Not Panic!

GREAT!!! Just PERFECT!! I've just realised that I've lost all my stories...all my work...the little bit of philosophising (?) I allowed myself long ago...its all bloody gone! Quest...Genesis...Cocoon...yeah yeah so they sound corny as hell...but I wrote them when I was 18!! Perfect angst-ridden outpourings of the teenage heart and now I can't re-live them as a mature, mellow and graceful 22 yr old. And especially considering I went through a severe bout of writers block for atleast 2 years after that!*sigh*

That's it...I'm going to dads office with a sledgehammer tomorrow to bash that pseudo computer 'technician's head in. (Err...if you're reading this good sir, my upright upbringing will really not allow me to go to such lengths, but thought you should know, I would really love to spill your neurons on your keyboard).

Oh btw, I seem to have a surplus of Shrewsbury biscuits at home. Utterly Butterly Delicious!! For all those interested in indulging themselves at my expense, please read previous paragraph.

Feelin' Groovy!

This is my background score, my movie soundtrack, the song that goes round n round in my head...three cheers for the dancing queen, three cheers for the optimist, three cheers for the hope fairy, three cheers for the brown girl in the ring! Hic Hic Hurray!!!


Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine!!

- Paul Simon (Bridge over Troubled Water, 1969)

My Ta-da list

The countdown began 10 days ago. 5 more to live through and it's going to be the future I've been waiting for so long. The last time I 'visited' my darling Bangalore it lasted almost a month. This time it spread itself out neatly over a period of 3 months. 'Full the lump in throat n all that is happening da maccha!' These last 3 months have been unadulterated bliss, ok maybe not that unadulterated considering it came with huge dollops of anxiety and self-doubt on top. But the formula that got me sailing through - pool, beer, javacity, my car, family AND my friends (not necessarily in that order).
Days that started slowly at 12 in the afternoon and ended just as slowly at 3-4am. Frequent 'trips' (sometimes too many for comfort) to Tavern and Mojo. Fluke shots at Guzzlers that pushed us to play frame after frame till we saw green everywhere (the environmentalists dream :P). Getting drenched while sipping daintily on iced teas. Puffing on kings and hoping and planning desperately that 'someday' we'll quit. Imagining that my lil Santro is no less than a Ferrari and MG Road is the Autobahn. Altercating on the advantages of pre-marital sex and the institution of marriage. Quick shots of Royal Stag with warm coke while trying to convince mum that I really am on Airport road, just 2 minutes from home. Talking about Life, the Universe and Everything with Pharoah who'd respond only if I scratched his tummy first.
Yes, these 3 months have shot past and it's time to get on. Time to move on to the next 3 months and then on to the next...hoping its gonna be as good as the ones before it.

This Life! So many opportunities...lost or not...risks taken...worth it or not...dreams...realised or not...This Life! How i Love it! Coz the good times are so much more fun to remember!

...those were the best days of my life!!

Independence was never sweeter. Almost a year and a half of sheer freedom in the Ol' Blighty. Ofcourse, it brought with it a month or so of stifling loneliness and mindnumbing homesickness, the kind that threatened to crush my stomach into a lil ball. But what people say about getting overly patriotic when on alien soil holds so true. Just seeing an Indian face or even a Pakistani one (same difference), would send me into one of my Cheshire cat moods. Slowly but surely, you warm to the place (in November surprisingly) and the people and realise that the 'stiff upper lip' is as real as the Loch Ness monster. After that, for a bird that's gonna spread its wings for the first time, it was feeding time! Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday = Parddyyy!! Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday = nurse hangover days. I think somewhere in between I managed to squeeze in classes and assignments.
And before you can say 'Matrioshka'...it was time to return. Everybody said, hurry home, but the heart said 'jus a lil more'. So I threw caution to the winds and tried my luck. Three extra months can't hurt I told myself. And they really didn't. It was probably the 1st ever risk I'd taken and now I think I quite like the rush. Even though I didn't get what i'd hoped for, atleast I got to go ice skating in Somerset House on new yrs!!

Brumm Pals 

So..here i am!

The whole world is blogging...so I decided to jump into the bandwagon. So where's the gold folks?!? Is there a purpose to this or are we just taking up free cyberspace...who knows! it just might be worth a lot someday. Will I ever be able to charge those who want to view the insides of my brain? Intellectual property rights n all that jazz? On second thoughts...not a chance! Who'd ever want to read this shit!